Guess who almost got roasted this weekend??!🔥

Guys, you won’t believe what happened to my sister and I during the weekend. We could have practically been roasted, save for the mercy of God.

If someone told me I’ll be blogging about fire coming from my house right after my previous fire blog post in our compound, I would have found it hard to believe.

Saturday started off chill, we ate good meals, three times, finished our chores early, cleaned the house and by 6, o clock ish, we had retired into the comfort of our beds ready to spend the rest of our evenings watching movies, knowing we could sleep off at any moment. 

Around 7, O clock ish, I quickly went to warm the stew, stayed in the Kitchen for some minutes, then took off and went to continue my movie.

Few hours later, I think around 9 ish, we heard a noise from downstairs. It was our darling 13 year old neighbor, Precious. She had a very tiny voice, lol, she still does. She was screaming our names, telling us to check our kitchen. The first thing my sister did, was look at me. ‘Did you switch off the cooker after cooking?’. I was 99% sure I switched off the cooker after I was  done cooking but there was that 1% that made my stomach crawl. I thought to myself ‘I couldn’t have left that gas cooker on right?’. Well, we both ran to the kitchen astonished by what we saw.

It was our kitchen guys and it was ablaze!!! We tried to look for where exactly the fire was coming from. We saw one of the kitchen doors burning. Okay, soooo, we have  3 doors in our kitchen. The first door connects you to the living room, the second door connects you to the dining room, but then there is another door, that one leads to an attic. That was the one on fire.🔥

It was just my little sister and I. We were trembling. We  both looked at each other in horror, thinking of what to do, because whatever had to be done had to be done fast. There was a generator outside the kitchen window, on the verandah. There was a gas cylinder outside the burning door that leads to the attic. 

There were 2 full gases in the kitchen and a gas cooker of course, with a very complicated wiring connection at the beginning of the kitchen’s entrance, but somehow the fire was only circling on that door. It was burning beside our drum filled with water. The drum was burning too, but very slowly, probably because the water inside the drum was slowing it down. We knew we had to quench that redness but the heat, the wildness of the fire and how big it was getting was something we had not experienced live and direct before. We ran in different directions. 

I ran to the bathroom to fetch some water from a running tap, while my sister went to grabbed a bucket and fetched water from our drum in the passage where we keep reservoir water for the rainy day. Okay, apparently, we have a lot of drums at home because my parents like to prepare for the rainy days so they don’t ever want us running out of water because of something like power shortage or tank issues. Every Nigerian should be able to relate. Lol. 

So, my sis started pouring some water on the door to quench the blazing fire as I followed suit, wondering why I would even consider waiting for a running tap to fill a bucket in such a situation, like the fire  was going to wait for me to finish fetching one pale of water.

We poured and poured and poured and poured  until the door had stopped burning, thinking the storm was over, not knowing we were just getting started. We could see light at the other side of what was left of the door, thinking probably the fire was coming from the other side, we ran again to see what was going on, but there was nothing happening at the back of the door, guys, absolutely nothing, so where was the fire still coming from? 

Guys, lo and behold, by the time security guys had come to help, they saw fire inside the kitchen’s ceiling😭. My sister  and I were so focused on the door, we didn’t notice that the kitchen bulb was missing, we didn’t even bother to look up and see some red lights shining in the ceiling covering. If not for security men, we would have quenched the fire in the door and gone back to sleep only to wake up to part 2.

Now they had started tearing down the kitchen ceiling, digging holes in places they saw red light and pouring water on it. I was just begging them, saying, haaaa, yeeh, please, small small, not too much. It was as if they were tearing my soul. Imagine how much money it will take to fix the whole stuff back naaa. They even said they might have to tear down the POP in the sitting room too, to make sure nothing was spreading. In my mind I was like ‘YOU SAY???’.  I knew they were just trying to make sure we were safe, but I had already started wondering how much POP will be in this 2023 in my mind.

Later, they went to get fire extinguisher in another house, because apparently, we no get fire extinguisher,😭 so they got it from a nice someone. Whoever you are, thank you o. They started extinguishing the ceiling before you know it, we saw fire fighters in our house. Like I don’t get, who called fire fighters already?😂. Like, I guess everyone is thinking how much their house costs and are not ready for fire to reach their own side so they went and got us fire fighters 😂. Thank you o😂. So guys, the fire fighters were right in my kitchen, making sure every red light sparkling in the ceiling was completely extinguished.

Then again my mom calls my sis and  my dad calls me😂. All the way from Abuja!!!!!!!!😂. Who called my parents about this? 😂 Like, even we, the fire victims left our phones and everything as soon as the fire started? Who was busy making all the calls? 😂

Well, guys, my dad spoke to one of the fire fighters who told him about the whole situation. He asked what was the cause, and they said electricity or something. One fire fighter dey even toast me sef, dey try collect my number. Like really? Of all times to shoot your shot, you feel now is the right time? I can’t even see what you look like, if you are even fine sef,  with you all dressed in overalls and helmets and boots and face shields and everything. My dad asked how much is his bill and they were like nah, they are working under the government and all, but he still tipped them though. Not my dad being his generous self with every opportunity that presents itself.😍.

I’m pretty sure he would have handled the situation better than us if he was around sha. But we sef try sha.

Okay guys, I know I may be losing focus but fire fighting is such a sexy job. Like they came within minutes and I don’t even know how they passed their long water tank rope thingy to our house but everything happened so swiftly. The fire fighting department in Nigeria has  opened my eyes to the fact that some things are actually working in this country and there are people who love their jobs you know.

I mean going into danger zones to risk your life for another is pretty much an heroic behavior and no amount can be used to compensate such a selfless job.

I didn’t give the fire fighter my number though. Lol. There is time for everything. You can’t possibly be expecting me to take you seriously when you’re taking my number in such a critical moment.

I don’t even know how I landed here but I did and I’m just glad your girls skin is still as caramel as ever. I’ve seen what fire does to people mehn and it’s not funny. I honestly don’t know why my blog is just about fire this days. The only fire I want in my life right now is the fire of the Holy Ghost. Can somebody say ‘Amen!.’

They ended up disabling power from just our own house and advised that an electrician come look into the wirings done in our kitchen, the next day, which he did. So this are the things that went bad. Our pipes bursted,  our drum which we usually used as reservoir for water in the kitchen, melted. Our door to the attic also got burnt as well as our bulb, dustbin, all the wedding bowls and sieves  my mom has been gathering as souvenirs from weddings since the 80s, and some wires that connects our light to the Gen.

To clean up the mess was another thing entirely. Thankfully my big sister’s man came over to save the day. He’s so sweet. My big sister was just standing there like a princess doing nothing while he and his kinsmen were helping us to take out the melted drum, mopping, sweeping and doing everything feminine known to man. Women, I know this is about fire but marry a kind man that loves you o. Someone not just kind in actions but kind in words and thoughts too. If you know that you want to enjoy your marriage, please pray to God to guide you to a kind man that will love you in actions, words and thoughts. Some men are good fathers but terrible husbands, while some are  good husbands but awful  fathers. 

I know it goes vice versa for women too, I mean I just read a story of a woman who killed her baby because she just got a visa and having a baby was going to get in the way, because the visa was just for her. She didn’t like…abort the baby while it was in her womb o. Like she killed the baby when it was already born. I was stunned. You’lld think having to carry a live being in your belly for 9 months and push a human head out of a teeny tiny hole would mean a lot to women and cause an inseparable bond between a mother and child, but I guess we are all wired different and desperation is really a thing, yeah?. Like where exactly are you even running to? If you can’t even afford to take your baby with you to overseas what will be your plan when you get there? Some people think overseas is heaven. Lmao. Better stay in your country where  Spaghetti is still like N500. Cook that spaghetti for yourself 3 times and it will still remain. By the time you go overseas and start buying one plate of sphag 5,000, I hope you will still have enough change for the rest of your life.  

If you will have to sell all that you have and all that you have ever worked for in this country just because you want to get to greener  pastures, lol, I hope you are fully prepared for whatever comes next. You may never find true love. You may never get your dream job, you may never be able recover all the money you spent while trying to get to your greener pasture, you may be forever in debt, you may never be able to unite with your loved ones because of whatever illegal mess you may have to find yourself in. I’m not discouraging anyone though. All I’m saying is desperation is a very ugly place to be mentally and it can affect you from making well thought, logical and rational decisions that can affect your life negatively forever, so y’all be careful out there!

How did I even get here, I was just thinking about the beauty of having a partner who is full of love, which will guarantee peace in a marriage more than anything. I’m not saying if you marry someone you love, or someone that loves you, your marriage will last. It may or may not last. I’m saying if 2 people who are love beings, full of love, peace and kindness in their mind and their thoughts come together, their union is more likely to last, than when light meets darkness or worse still darkness meets darkness. It’s bound to end up in disaster. This is why people who end up in shitty marriages always wonder what went wrong because they both loved each other initially. But human love is shallow and temporary. It’s like a fire on a candle easily blown away by breeze. Love is not enough. Were they kind people individually? If I don’t seek to be better everyday and grow out of my weakness and I marry someone who is just like that, that marriage will turn out shitty for sure and I can only imagine the kind of kids that will be raised in such an atmosphere. I pray I marry when I’m ready and also marry someone who is ready to marry, not just financially, i’m talking about some inside work here. Someone who is full of love will bring you peace. Not because they love you, but because love is peaceful, love is selfless love is everything good and kind and that’s who they are. Now being a love being is intentional. You have to battle between light and darkness everyday. I don’t want to start preaching here today because I’m no preacher, but you need to understand someone’s thought process before you even get involved with people. That will tell you what they are capable of. 

Before anyone can love you, that person must have been full of love. You can’t even give what you don’t have. How people take care of themselves will determine how they will take care of you. If I deviate further from today’s topic today one more time, walahi, this blog post will not end today. Just know that marriage is forever and ever and evvvvveeeer, and if you’re like me who is not big on divorce, make sure you are working on being a love being everyday and looking out for someone who is doing the same. If you’re not big on growth and you’re looking for your right partner, okay o. Because I hope when we find the right partner, we ourselves will be equally right for that person. Yes, you could be the wrong one. God no go shame us.

Yooooo. I don’t even know how I got here again. Let’s get back to todays gist joor. So, I spoke to my big sis today and she was like we had an Angel looking over us o. Because what happened could have led to something worse. She was like the fire happened in a strategic place. It just had to be beside a drum full of water and beside a pipe that could easily burst, which caused water to start gushing out uncontrollably  in the same axis where the fire was. The window had some cracks too, which means the fire wanted to break open the glass so that it can get to where the generator is and cause havoc but it’s powers were limited due to the position it found itself.

Sooo, while my sister and I were watching movie, a fire that could have grown into something bigger than me was circling in the same position. We didn’t know when the fire started or how long it had been like that and we know that fire spreads quickly. But somehow, due to the restraint of the fire caused by the water in the drum and the gushing pipe, we were able to come out just in time before it got to where the gas was. If it had moved towards the gas there, or generator, there would have been an explosion.

Also, If our neighbors didn’t call us in time, we could have slept off and opened the door of the room later only to realize the entire house is on fire and we are trapped. Mind you, our room has no means of escape. All our windows were created in a way to prevent burglars from coming in, so we could have been really screwed.

Remember our security guard that got roasted the other day. Well he’s back home and I’m glad he’s alive, but you know when you fry dodo and it stays too long and becomes black and burnt, welll…I think you get the mental image of his skin right now. Quite sad. Why he came back to work again in the same historically and mentally triggering place still baffles me. The other day, he still went to buy fuel.

I just give thanks to God for everything and I’m just happy to be blogging to you all from my fire free residence. Of course, we will need an electrician, plumber, painter and carpenter but Alhamdullilhi in the end y’all!

Till I come your way again! Stay safe and careful y’all!!! In all you do, try not to get roasted. I literally mean this. Hopefully, I won’t be posting about fire ever again. Maybe my next post will be about my wedding.  Lol. Okay. T for tanks! Buh-Bye!

Somebody call 911!!

I’m not really sure if 911 works in Nigeria here for emergencies, but boy did we need to call one in my compound at home today! Mehn….Fire is a very terrible and disastrous thing!

I honestly never thought I’ll be back here so soon coupled with the rigors of trying to get work done at my workplace and hustling for cash to get to my workplace at thesame time, in this era of cash scarcity, but here I am.

‘Our house is burning’. That was the first text I got from my sister that made my heart race. My mind went straight to our cooking gas at home. Geez, did someone leave the gas on? Did our sockets explode? Did I forget to unplug our Iron? Was it the freezer? Was it the Air Conditioner? What of my passport? My Nysc Certificates, birth certificates and the likes? Myriad of thoughts flooded my mind as I knew we had been guilty of leaving the tap running in the house in the past. 

‘Are we the ones responsible?’ I asked my sis, but for some reasons she was responding slowly which only made my heart beat faster. I called her but she wasn’t picking. I don’t know if she was deliberately keeping me on suspense, but whatever she was trying to do, it was working, She picked my call on the second dial. ‘Are we responsible?’ I asked again. ‘No’. She replied reassuringly. She could almost hear me breathe a sigh of relief over the phone. ‘Is that all you’re concerned about?’ She asked, sounding a tad surprised after which I replied explaining why I asked, to her. Of course that wasn’t all I was concerned about. My mind was running with emotions and that was the first question that raced from my head to m my tongue. All I know is that I needed to be sure that whatever had happened during the course of the fire was not due to our negligence because this would determine how I handled other news? What happened? Hope no one was hurt? How much fire are we talking about here? I threw a lot of questions at her as she answered me with details.

I’m sure you guys are curious about what happened. Lol, what if I decided to stop here and continue next week, how would you guys like the sound of that? 

But nah. This is not a series. What I start, I must finish.

Apparently, this is what happened. Our security guard was sent to buy fuel by his boss. It’s a long story. In other settings, the security guard works for everyone, but here, he has a boss who he’s loyal to, while the rest of us, well, na God dey truly protect us, is all I can say. 

I honestly don’t know how he could have made the mistake of keeping the fuel inside his room while cooking and even sleeping off to worsen it all. But my dearest readers, that was exactly what happened. This mistake led to a fire eruption which affected his building which is separate from others. Unfortunately, the fire roasted him a little too. Guys this is not the most unbelievable part. Will you believe that while the fire was roasting him ☹️😩😭, he couldn’t feel it because he was deep asleep?. How deep was that sleep? Were they sharing new notes in the sleep? Was he being elected as our next Nigerian president? Was he being granted access to heaven’s gates? Was he on drugs? He doesn’t do drugs to my best of knowledge but what manner of sleep art that? 

You guys won’t believe if I tell you that he couldn’t hear people screaming ‘Fire’ and shouting outside as they watched the fire grow bigger and bigger. I am very amazed and perplexed at this kind of sleep and I honestly intend to research about it, to know if it’s truly possible to have your body burning and not know while asleep.

 This made me remember the day my sister woke me up around 5am one fateful Sunday morning. She saw a big rat in our house and somehow felt waking me up was going to solve anything. Like me? Me that just learnt how to stop being oppressed by cockroaches how to finally kill them with a broom in 2020? Well, I didn’t know what to do than freak out. It’s been ages since I came across a live rat. I ran downstairs to get a stick and stone, then went to beg our guard to please help us kill this mighty rat, I even offered to pay him for this service. In his words and I quote, ‘I no fit. I am very drunk in sleep right now’. Well, I sadly went back upstairs to battle with the rat myself, as well as with my 2 sisters. My big sis just eroded the scene, all I know is we didn’t see her again. My small sis was headed for school and her uber had arrived, so it was just me and the mighty rat. Lol. You guys should calm down. This is not one of those tales about how a small girl like me was able to kill a mighty rat. This is far from it. Well the rat jumped on a window, and I tried to use my stick to get it to jump down but guys, I won’t lie to you, since it came down from that window,  I never found it again. I searched and searched but I couldn’t find it. I bought rat poison for it some days later. I don’t know if it ate it or not. All I know is that I am still looking for the rat till today. If I see it, I will let you know.

Anywhooooooz, back to my story. The summary is that I guess there’s something unique about the way our guard sleeps. If his senses couldn’t wake up to a fire literarily coursing through his body, why would he wake up from his deep sleep to help us kill a useless rat?

He has been rushed to the hospital and I seriously do pray to God that he survives because, honestly, he wasn’t paid enough for this trauma. How much is he being paid? That amount can’t even buy correct wig. 

This brings me back to a school of thought, that school of thought is that, we all should better be mindful of who we are loyal to, because,  at the end of the day, you may just be seen as nothing but a tool. A means to an end and nothing more. Will you guys believe the boss who sent him to buy fuel wasn’t the one who took him to the hospital? The wife was driving a car in when they were about to take the burnt guard to the hospital. They tried to put him in her car, she replied saying ‘ You can’t put him in the car, can’t you see my children are here?’ It was another neighbor in the compound whose car the security guard had stopped washing for a long time, that rushed him to the hospital. 

Guys, by all legal means, look for a way to carve a niche for yourself in the business industry and become financially independent and successful. I know not everyone will climb to the higher class and there will always be middle class and lower class as the existence of all this classes play a role in the society, this is what we call functionalism theory, but I don’t intend to bore you all today with my sociological bla bla bla, my own is, just try your possible best not to find yourself putting all your youth and energy into somoeone else’s dreams all the days of your life, while yours perishes. Look for your own dream and chase it, nurture it, and build it. I know not everyone is selfish but man is by nature selfish. All your youth will be sucked dry like an orange and when your juice has finished, you will be discarded and thrown away. Then when you are old, that is if you don’t end up losing your life for the dreams of another, you will wonder what you did with your life and when you think deeply on your death bed, you will shut your eyes in discontentment. God forbid you die helping someone to achieve his purpose in life while you fail to fulfill yours. When you get to heaven, that is if you even believe in heaven, what will you tell God? No, infact, let’s leave afterlife for now. On your death bed, what will you tell yourself? Your children? Your grandchildren? That you weren’t equipped enough to fulfill your purpose? All the times you have spent learning under people, those are equipments on their own. Seek to grow into your purpose. Don’t give up. Find what you are called to do and achieve it but the question is do you even know your purpose? I don’t care whatever your age is. Every brand new day is a second chance to discover what or who you were meant to be. Actions have consequences, inactions also have consequences. We will reap the fruits of our labour be it action or inaction.

All in all, wherever you find yourself today, it should be leading you towards your dreams, and pleaaase, when you get there, don’t forget how you were treated when you were under people. If you were treated awfully, you know how it feels, if you treat people thesame way, what makes you any different from those who maltreated you? If you were treated kindly, it’s time to give back. Don’t forget to show kindness in all you do. Because, one day, we are all going to die. This body is just a container. Your soul will not live inside there forever! The day you exit that container of a body, all your life will flash before your very eyes and that is when you will realize there is nothing delightful about having an evil heart and being nothing but an awful memory in the mind of others.

I hope I have communicated to someone today, even if it is just myself. Right now, I am really sad about this situation. It is not funny at all, but, it is well. I am tired of all these sad stories joor. Hopefully, in my next blog I will be getting married or something, or sharing good news about a loved one or friend. I put you all in my prayers. Please, do the same for me. Till I come your way again! Keep winning, keep fighting, keep loving! In the end. Love may just be the answer to everything. I love you all! Adieus Amigos!!!

Clash of the Titans 😂😮‍💨😴🤣

Nigeria is an interesting place to be for reals and I like how we can make humor out of anything, no matter the circumstance. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks in this country and I’ve been wanting to share my experience, but mehn.  Lol. I didn’t even know where or how to start. But what kind of blogger would I be if I deprived you all of this juicy gist?????😁😁😂.

 

Today, a friend reached out to me asking for my blog link, complimenting my posts afterwards. That was when I remembered I have not even blogged about what we are all facing together in our beloved country, and that was how I ended up here. Help me thank the friend o. He is the reason there is content for you all this night. 

Apparently the drama began to unfold  when CBN Governor said we should stop spending old notes on the 31st of January. Later, he extended it till 10th of February, then later 15th. But all these while, I had not started experiencing any ‘Shege’ because I usually withdraw for a whole month. I don’t like withdrawing in bits, so, I was still doing well. Infact, let me not lie, since this whole drama started, I have not gone to buy money from POS attendants for once, I did try to go to the bank to withdraw once or twice but I didn’t have the energy to queue for so long, so I’ve just been managing myself but I can’t say thesame for my fellow Nigerians and I dread the day it will be my turn to experience the overwhelming flood of ‘Shege’. 😮‍💨🤭.

 I remember when I went to the market to buy foodstuffs as the wife material that I am🤭, I did transfers more than 5 times that day. Transfer to buy maggi 🥱🙈😂, transfer to buy Salt, even curry and thyme. Even Aboki sef collected his own transfer for yam😂. Even Abokis are now having account numbers, that should let you know that things are occurring.? I’m just glad all my transfers were successful because if my money had hanged in the air during one of those numerous transfers, I know not what I would have done. The only person wey no gree collect transfer was one old Yoruba woman. I tried to speak the little Yoruba I could boast of to the old woman. ‘E joor ma, Shay mo lay Shay transfer ma?’ I wanted to buy eggs. People of God….😂😂😂, if you see the kind of bad eyes this woman used to look at me,😂. Omo, na so I pack all the remaining change wey dey my pocket give am o. It was not enough to buy the crate of eggs I was hoping to buy but it was able to get me half at least. 

My fellow Nigerians.  I have witnessed a lot😂. I have seen people enter into the armpits of others just to get to the front of an ATM  queue. I have heard of cases where banks were dishing five thousand naira packaged in five nairas, ten nairas, twenty nairas and fifty nairas respectively. I honestly can’t remember when last I saw five naira, I thought it had gone into extinction, because nothing is worth that amount anymore again in my dear country, but lo and behold, 💀💀😂, dead bones shall rise again!!! I dread the day I will have to queue at the bank because my can cannot even can😮‍💨🥱. I have seen ‘baseje’ Nigerian citizens vandalizing and destroying bank’s buildings and gates, flying over fences just to get their money. How is destroying a window going to make an ATM cough out new notes in the first place, nitori olorun????? But these Government sef. I don’t get it. So you told us to go and put all our money into the bank only to suffer severe hardship in order to get it out back. Shay you dey whine me?😂? You know the funniest thing? You can transfer money to someone today and get debited, then when you wake up the next day, you will see the money right back in your account 😂. To do transfers, wahala, to use your ATM, wahala, cash, no go area😂. The other day, I tried to pay for electricity bills, transaction was declined, they debited me. Okay, reverse it, wahala. I later got my money back though. Don’t ask me how. 

Even POS attendants that were using us to cash out during the reign of old notes, are now looking for new notes too, since CBN Governor declared 500 old notes and 1000 old notes useless on the 15th of February. They now said we should be spending 200 nairas. Na wa o. Imagine. A whole us. So you’re trying to tell me that if I don’t have new notes, Na 200 naira I go dey use do big girl for Lagos? 😁. What a wonderful waaawu! 

I have already told my peeps at work that once I run out of cash they won’t see me again o. Nobody should stress me biko because even public buses that hardly ever reject anything are now rejecting old notes. If you don’t have N100, N200 or new notes, just humbly get down, because you honestly will not like them to start their drama. Our bus drivers and conductors can be very dramatic. One of our nurses sent an  elaborate message to our group chat today, 3 long paragraphs on how she has been experiencing heavy drops of ‘Shege’ commuting, due to the new naira note policy. Long story short, we no dey see her green light for work today💀😂. Truly truly, mama no turn up o. Our boss later distributed new note cash to few of us at work shaaa. Now this is what I can proudly call a well deserved urgent ‘2k’. Not the ones my genders are collecting at Lekki. I have never been an urgent 2k babe, but for new notes omo, I will be an urgent 2k for you babbbbby😂💋😍🐓❣️🤭.   Please nobody should come and kidnap me in my house now o, because I told you guys I am two thousand naira richer, I may have to go under witness protection. Eish. May God protect me.

I’m just praying to God that before ‘Shege’ comes for me too, somehow somehow, I would have been able to access new notes. 

Even though I’m one of those Nigerians that doesn’t have PVC, I know I am wrong here, please forgive me y’all. But I still want to plead with y’all to go and vote for us. Vote away our Sorrows and future Shege biko. Don’t go and vote one old man o. Or someone that will be saying ‘Is it for eba or garri?’ Up and Dan. I hope we have all not forgotten what happened on the 1st of October, 2020. It’s about to be a looooooong 8 years, if we make just one wrong step. There is hope for this country in the right hands, y’all. 

Although, I do wonder if any of these candidates are actually capable of saving this country, or actually truly have our intentions at heart, but wetin we go do, one must emerge as the winner,  let us just try and vote for the one that will not steal too much of our money shaaa. May the gods be with you and direct you all in your decision making.

And yeah… There are protests going on here and there, tear gases and shootings and nobody knows what is going to happen after election. 

I beg you all my lovelies, please stay safe for mama. Till I come your way again!!!!! Xoxo……Your one and only …..Queen Elizabeth!!! Mwaaaah😋💋

Update! Update! Public buses and napeps are now collecting transfer o!! At least some sha🤪. I’m waiting for Agbalumo sellers to start collecting transfer because you know what is paining me? 😭. I cannot buy Agbalumo. I’m sorry for all the tush people here who know it as cherry, but I assure you, it tastes better when you call it Agbalumo. If I go and meet her now and tell her I want to do transfer for Agbalumo won’t she stone me with one like this? 🙈. See guys, this is the most painful part of the scarcity of this cash of a thing. But let’s just all stay strong. Adieus Amigos😍😍🥰🐓.

7 days of Torture😭😭😭🙃💀🐓

Hello guys!!!!!!!! Happy new year to you all! Today marks

Day 20 of a brand new year. For those of you with new year resolutions, I hail you, because even my new year resolution for last year is still beautifully tucked away safely in my locker, I will look for it where I kept it and maybe dust it for review😋😁. Nevertheless, I pray you all find what you are looking for this year. I want to see you all achieving your dreams. I want to see you all at the sky because at the end of the day that’s where we all belong. It’s only a matter of time. Our stars will shine. The sun will set. There will be a downpour. It can only get better. 

This year for me is not about resolutions though, it’s all about gratitude. Gratitude for the things that were, things that are and things that will be. Gratitude for a happy, healthy, drama free, nuclear, family.  Gratitude for health. Gratitude for the here and now. Gratitude for mental well being. Gratitude for you, yes you! I’m glad you are still alive, able to spare some leisure time to read my posts every now and then. If you were depressed or dead you wouldn’t be here, right now, on my page! Thank you for staying alive and pushing through when the going gets tough. Thank you for being strong even when you feel under appreciated, neglected, or unloved. I appreciate you, I see you and I love you all! I hope we all live long enough to witness the good days, the better days, the best days. 

If you know me personally you’ll know there is one thing I always say. One step at a time because I cannot go and  kill myself. Sufficient until the day is the evil there of. Everything will be alright y’all!. But guys, that is not why I’m here today o😭. Forget all this my heart to heart talk o. Today I am here to talk about the evil thereof that has refused to be sufficient for one day😭😊. It has been rolling over and over and over until it finally rolled over into the 5th day😊. 

Please all my peeps abroad🙃, if you know you have family members over here, don’t forget to pray for your country o. At least if you’re praying under those beautiful drops of snow, the way you will pray that prayer ehn, there is no way God won’t hear you, your prayers will just be melody to his ears. But you see us in this country ehn, our prayers are so violent that even God sef don dey cover his ear because we too dey shout😁💀. But you can’t blame us.😴

 By the time you recollect the amount of time you spent sitting idly in traffic, or how you were going about your day innocently until someone bashed your car and ran away, or how your carefully ironed white shirt was redesigned by a splashy mud of rain water, on your way to somewhere very important, your prayer will be packaged in violence with a little touch of anger. How won’t we shout? 🤣🤣😂. Some of you, your voice is not even sweet on top. The annoying thing is that it’s our neighbors I pity. All the ‘my father, my father’ soundtrack🤣 they will have to listen to each night must be really gruesome. I’m very sure some of your neighbors have been praying to God to answer your prayers so that they can finally have a good night sleep🤣🙈💀.

My fellow Nigerians. I know some of you are used to the constant power shortage in your neighborhood and I’m so sorry it is like that, but mehn, I am not😭. I have never experienced such evil like this before. Even all the breakfasts wey the other gender serve me last year no heavy reach this one. 😊😭😭. By the way if you served me breakfast last year, 😊, I just want to say thank you for serving it early o. I can’t imagine chopping it inside marriage. That one can cause heart attack. But if it’s breakfast on the street, forget am, some of us don dey chop breakfast ‘since the 80s’🤣😁. Now, we do it for the culture😎💞😁. If you haven’t watched YOLO, you can’t relate to the ‘since the 80’s’ part though. Lol. It was an interesting watch y’allll.🥹. When will I ever stay in my topic for once. Eish. I can deviate for Africa. 

As I was saying guys….. Omo. Omo. Omo. Y’all!!!!!!! PHCN dey show us Shege for Adeniyi Jones o😭😭😭. I can’t cry but I lie not to you,  ever since I’ve been staying here, we have never experienced such a terrible blackout before. 

It all started when I got back from work on Monday as I journeyed into the lingering darkness that awaited me, hoping for it to be soon penetrated by the very much anticipated illumination that light brings. Little did I know that I will be blogging about my excruciating experience, 4 days later.  Much to my chagrin, darkness was staring right at me in the face when I woke up the next day, alongside mosquito bites on my skin. Ever since, my dear readers, mosquitoes have been feasting on me like a offering of sacrifice, I am so certain they are trying to pack a few pounds, because, what is this feasting?

Do you know the annoying thing, the annoying thing is that I’m the only one in the room. My younger sis went back to school on Sunday right before the torture began and she usually comes to my room to sleep because…, well I don’t know why she loves to sleep in my room. She will leave her room and come to my room to sleep every now and then, because she just loves me too much and can’t do without me.😂😊☺️😉😌 That’s not why, but let’s go with that. Lol. 

See, I wrote Lol, but I’m not even laughing. I don’t know why that girl decided to leave me here at this crucial time, at least if we were 2 in the room, some will bite her while some will bite me😴.  Unfortunately all the attention is on just me. Of all the types of attention to be getting in this life, mine seems to be coming from Mosquitoes. Ahhh. Isn’t life wonderful? This is what happens when PHCN decides to show you what pepper looks like in human form. It seems like Raid is no longer even working because I have fleeted that room over and over again but there is just always that one mosquito with 9 lives. Make them two, because right after killing one, another spiritual one appears, lurking around, waiting for me to sleep so they can have a piece of my tasty flesh, once again. Bloody blood sucking vampires.

Lo and behold, my once ever spotless and glowing skin has been temporarily blemished by mosquito bites and there is nothing I can do about it for now. Someone said, maybe they feel like my favorite color is pink, so they want me to be matching my clothes with the bites on my skin. So mosquito bites don turn accessory now??😂. Interestiiiiiiing!!! And hey for the record, my fav colour can never and will never be pink. Thank you! 

I heard they are working on something hence the need for the absence of light for 7 DAYS!! Like yoo!!! Whatever they are working on had better be bringing us light for 24 hours moving forward, because I have never seen this kind of ‘work’ before. Normally, the longest we’ve  ever gone without light is 3 days, you’ll see them running around with Ladders just in time to save us from the lingering darkness, but this time, it seems we have been deserted.

Liiiikkkke….Are this people joking? Do they not understand the economic implication of what they are putting us through? With the current inflation of fuel and fuel scarcity. See ehn, I promise them, if my meat, fish and pepper in that freezer eventually spoils, they will either refund my money or go to the market to buy another one. 

Thankfully, my neighbors have been using their Gens to pump water. If not I would have told you guys of the tale of a fine girl living in Adeniyi Jones who carries bucket on her head to hustle for water to fetch everyday.

It’s been 5 days of torture guys. I’m currently blogging from work now with a throbbing headache about to go enjoy another wonderful day of absolute darkness so thick, you could cut it with a knife!!! Some of you have experienced far more than this and are probably laughing at me right now, because I know this is Nigeria. Some people have gone without light for a whole year and I wonder just how they survived. I feel if you can survive as a Nigerian in our beloved country, you should be able to survive anywhere, even in hell. You go just dey look at devil dey smile.😊 

Like yoooo! These are one of those days where I’m grateful I have a job as I get to revel in the comfort of A.C and constant power supply to keep my phone fully charged. You know one thing that makes power shortage most depressing? Low Battery!!!!! Especially in this modern day and time where we practically live inside our phones! When engulfed by the darkness, our phones become a ray of light, a necessary consolation in our times of despair, keeping us sane in the midst of the madness, what would we do without them?

It’s quite interesting that people living abroad who have never been to countries like Nigeria, could never really relate to what we go through here. Ha ha ha. There should be like a compulsory ‘domestic versus international citizens swap’ every now and then, but I doubt If they would be able to cope. If our sun doesn’t see them out, our one of a kind  traffic should do the trick!😂. Well it’s just Lagos that’s like this though, Abuja is chilling. I chose this path and I must walk in it steadily and gracefully.😭😂

Wish me luck guys! Pray for your  baby girl! She’s going through  ‘emotional damage’ in that Asian guys tone. Wheeew. It’s 4:48pm over here. I’m beginning to tidy up. As I get set to return to my humble abode, may my creator grant me the fortitude to bear the brunt of the incoming darkness of the evening that awaits me and may the overwhelming signatures left behind by the mosquitoes on my skin, never leave behind unforgettable scars in my mind that will carry on to hunt me forever. Selah!💀.

Lol, I just say make I speak English . Lol. I no even know the meaning of ‘Selah’. Lmaaoo. 😴🤣🤣 Till I come your way fans! Stay Safe! Don’t forget to pray for your baby girl, especially those of you living in the ‘faraway land’. 😁. Eish. 

Hope I didn’t go and overwrite like this. I’m sorry for the long paragraphs guys, don’t blame me please. Blame my rollercoaster of emotions! I am going through a lot and a lot is going through me😂😴🐓.

Love you all joor. 😘 Mwaaaaaah😘😘😘😘😁❣️❣️❣️😍🥰

😁😁😁😌☺️🙈Update guys!!! They finally brought the light today. Monday, 23rd, January, 2023 not sure the exact time.  As soon as I walked into the estate, my gaze met the security lights beaming from afar, I just had to ask one of the security guards as I darted forward ‘is this light?’😂 Omo.. They said it’s light o. If you see the way relief worked a slow smile across my face and into my eyes ehn🙈😂! I could have pecked any Nepa person I saw around. Lol, but uh… umm.. ewww😂??? Calm down Lizzy🤣😂.  Kashamadupe😂. I guess maybe, just maybe, you can get an happy ending in Nigeria afterall🥰🥹🐓💡😄🤣.  Anywaaaay!! Thank you all for staying tuned! This is my final bye. I promise! 😎😜🐓

Adieus😋😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰. I wish you all love and  LIGHT!💡Like Literarily💡💡💀💞🤪😁!!!!🥹🙈🥰😁🤣. Bye bye!!!